Its been quite sometime since I last wrote a chapter, in fact it was before Christmas 2016. Now I should be writing this with the physique of Arnie instead I still have the standard dad bod that is costing me an excessive monthly fee to maintain, I have been telling myself to get to the gym only to be quickly distracted, what’s that? a bacon sarnie and so the cycle goes.
Its a good job I am one of the 100 people still playing Pokemon go, you need to walk a lot to hatch them critters that live in my phone. I know that will be hard for some to digest…. did someone say digestive? yes please with my cuppa tea, got to love a dunk, in fact I have had so many biscuits I am sure I have turned into a ginger bread man
So as I last wrote before Christmas I should put into some words how it has been since and how it all went. Well Christmas day was actually pretty good, Joel was understanding what it was all about this year and made it pretty exciting, I even let Santa into our home in his snowy boots which left footprints all over the carpet. When Joel woke up to this he was not impressed, ” Santa did not take off his shoes and has made a mess” ahh the magic of Christmas.
Freddie would have been due around that time too and so at times it was mentally tough, It was hard enough missing one child in Jasmine but with Freddie too at times I wished I could be a bear and go off to hibernate for winter, the sun makes everything better doesn’t it?
I have also taken some daunting steps to as I have attended the last two Northamptonshire SANDS fathers group. Now I am one who can express feelings freely after a while of getting to know some one, before that I am reserved and quite often wary of meeting people to begin with for fear that I have nothing interesting to say. So to attend these meetings is a big step for me and I am so glad that I did it.
I wasn’t sure why I was going, what was I going to get out of it etc, however what you get is a small group of dads who all share one thing in common, we have all lost a baby, we have all had a partner to console and to share the pain with and we all reflect on the different ways in which men grieve etc, I went thinking about me and left thinking how my experience can help others and not feeling alone.
It also helped cement why I am putting myself though such mad activities, because families need these charities, we need to be shown the light when all around is dark, we need somewhere we can share our stories and encourage and help others going through this horrendous experience.
Oh and before I forget, I also wrote the first children’s book of what I hope to be a series you can read it here https://www.storyjumper.com/book/index/37627146/Joel-s-Adventures-in-the-Sky